A lot of scientists, economists, politicians, and just about everybody else has a lot to say about global warming, its causes, and what needs to be done to slow it down or reverse it.
But very few address the real culprit to global warming and fewer, if any, who do address it aren't given a second of mainstream airtime to intelligently debate the issue.
What is the culprit to global warming?
Population growth. In simple terms, there are way too many people in this world.
No, I'm not talking about the doom and gloom predictions of the seventies where people lived stacked on top of each other all starving to death because there won't be enough greenspace left to grow enough crops to feed them all.
I am talking about the effects of over six and a half billion people has on the increased energy needs to clothe, house, and feed all those hungry mouths.
While the US can boast that it has more trees today than in 1900, on a global scale, the world has lost over half of its forests. Trees absorb CO2, a major greenhouse gas. As we clear the forests for more farmland, houses, roads, firewood and...well, you get the picture. It's the same as poking pinholes in your water filter. The filter can only take so many pinholes before it starts letting dirty water get through the faucet.
Six and a half billion people running around need to heat their homes in the winter, cool them in the summer, get to work (translation - drive) and factories need to burn more energy to manufacture more clothes and food, which means more greenhouse gasses are pumped into the atmosphere.
It's time to reign in uncontrolled population growth. We could start by mandating those who are slowly unraveling the moral fabric of our society be sterilized to prevent them from reproducing. In this country alone, think of the millions of births that would be prevented to the likes of rapists, murders, theives, religious fundamentalists, serial killers, and child molestors. Expand that policy to a global scale and population growth may actually be reversed.
With less people in the world, we could reforest many areas that would no longer be needed for housing or farmland. Energy companies and factories wouldn't have to produce as much, reducing pollution and greenhouse gasses.
And there will be less people on the road, which is not only good for the environment, but it would mean I might get to work on time tomorrow instead of sitting for an hour in a traffic jam.
Good night all. Time for me to duck on out of here.
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Saturday, June 10, 2006
Single Is Not A Disease
I happened to watch the Today Show this morning. I know, who in their right mind gets up before twelve noon on a Saturday? Trust me, I don’t do that often. But my getting up way too early on a Saturday morning is not the subject I want to talk about. A story they had on about being single rubbed me the wrong way. Being single is what I want to talk about.
The authors of a new book tell us why we’re single, and if you’re single, it’s your fault. No, I don’t know who the authors were nor the name of the book. My impression is they are a couple and now want to teach everyone else how to suffer with a mate. The only point I got out of the five minute interview with them was a flashback years ago to a Newsweek cover story proclaiming unmarried women over forty had a better chance of falling victim to a terrorist attack than they did falling in love and marrying.
Of course some couples would tell you that marriage is an act of terrorism.
I really want to know why so many people look at being single as some sort of disease that needs a cure. If I can get a solid answer to that question, then I am dying to know why married people are so eager to hook their single friends up as if there’s a hurry to get them married.
From a man’s perspective, I can understand the desire to get married before middle age. Thinning, gray hair can’t rightfully be called attractive. And the beer gut really gets in the way of chasing women. It slows one down and most of the pretty, young things can out run the middle aged man. All he’s left with is women judging the size of one thing in his pants – his wallet.
Women, though, seem to be in a hurry to marry, too. The other day I was smoking a cigarette at work and two young women barely out of college came out to smoke and talk. I’m not normally an eavesdropper, but they were talking loud enough that I couldn’t help but catch their conversation.
The one boasted about meeting this really nice guy at the nightclub over the weekend. He wasn’t tall like she likes nor broad-shouldered. On top of that, he’s Jewish, which she felt might clash with her Christianity if the relationship moved on to raising a family. What won her heart, though, was his being a really nice guy with a gentle personality and the fact that he had a very good paying job didn’t hurt.
Now, I really don’t understand this. She’s young with a whole life ahead of her. She has a good job that could turn into a successful career if she wanted. She knows she wants the Marlboro man, but is willing to settle for a pudgy Jew with a sweet personality and money.
What the Hell is her hurry? She’s not anywhere near the age where all she has to look forward to is a terrorist attack.
Being single is not a disease. Focusing on marriage as being important, the goal to achieve, and willing to settle for less just to get married is a disease.
The authors of a new book tell us why we’re single, and if you’re single, it’s your fault. No, I don’t know who the authors were nor the name of the book. My impression is they are a couple and now want to teach everyone else how to suffer with a mate. The only point I got out of the five minute interview with them was a flashback years ago to a Newsweek cover story proclaiming unmarried women over forty had a better chance of falling victim to a terrorist attack than they did falling in love and marrying.
Of course some couples would tell you that marriage is an act of terrorism.
I really want to know why so many people look at being single as some sort of disease that needs a cure. If I can get a solid answer to that question, then I am dying to know why married people are so eager to hook their single friends up as if there’s a hurry to get them married.
From a man’s perspective, I can understand the desire to get married before middle age. Thinning, gray hair can’t rightfully be called attractive. And the beer gut really gets in the way of chasing women. It slows one down and most of the pretty, young things can out run the middle aged man. All he’s left with is women judging the size of one thing in his pants – his wallet.
Women, though, seem to be in a hurry to marry, too. The other day I was smoking a cigarette at work and two young women barely out of college came out to smoke and talk. I’m not normally an eavesdropper, but they were talking loud enough that I couldn’t help but catch their conversation.
The one boasted about meeting this really nice guy at the nightclub over the weekend. He wasn’t tall like she likes nor broad-shouldered. On top of that, he’s Jewish, which she felt might clash with her Christianity if the relationship moved on to raising a family. What won her heart, though, was his being a really nice guy with a gentle personality and the fact that he had a very good paying job didn’t hurt.
Now, I really don’t understand this. She’s young with a whole life ahead of her. She has a good job that could turn into a successful career if she wanted. She knows she wants the Marlboro man, but is willing to settle for a pudgy Jew with a sweet personality and money.
What the Hell is her hurry? She’s not anywhere near the age where all she has to look forward to is a terrorist attack.
Being single is not a disease. Focusing on marriage as being important, the goal to achieve, and willing to settle for less just to get married is a disease.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Headliners
Making fun of the news and the people in it...
"Hey, Bush, I'm one of your biggest supporters! Surprised?"
Gay Republican Rebel - story
Friday, October 07, 2005
Headliners
Making fun of the news and the people in it...
"You know, I bet a little blush on the cheeks, darken the eyebrows, some false eyelashes, and let my hair grow out a bit and I could pass for the Church Lady. Maybe I could get one of my preists to doll me up." -
Gay Men Can Be Catholic Priests - story
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Making fun of the news and the people in it...
"I'm mean. I'm a queen. I'm an Aids fighting machine."
Elton donates to Nepal's HIV fight - story
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Headliners
Making fun of the news and the people in it...
"Hmmm, filled out a gay questionaire, huh? Funny, you don't look lesbo to me."
Court Pick Is Unknown Quantity - story
Monday, October 03, 2005
Headliners
Making fun of the news and the people in it...
"If I can't have sex, I'll be damned if I'm going to let those homos have it."
Catholic churches lead signature drive for ban on gay marriage - story
Friday, September 30, 2005
Headliners
Making fun of the news and the people who are in it....
"Wow, this butt plug really does make one feel special!"
Roberts Confirmed Chief Justice - story
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Headliners
Making fun of the news and the people who are in it....
"I just know those fags are behind this push against me."
Bush Loses Ally as Delay Resigns - story
Monday, September 26, 2005
The Tale of Two Penguins, Betrayal, and the Christian Right Frenzy
Remember Roy and Silo? The couple made headlines a few months back as the loving pair of gay penguins. During their six year relationship, they adopted a rock and tried to hatch it. Zoo keepers, after trying to break them up first by introducing some swanky female penguins, finally gave up and supplied them with a real penguin egg to hatch. They faithfully hatched the egg and successfully raised Tango, a baby girl penguin.
Normally, this would be a story zoo keepers would joke and laugh about over a few beers at Happy Hour.
Not quite.
Somewhere along the way, the Happy Hour story made headlines. Gay activists proudly pointed to the pair as proof that homosexuality is a natural state, not a perverted choice as some would like us to believe. International protests broke out when zoo keepers tried to convert Roy and Silo using their own version of an ex-gay ministry - by separating them and introducing female penguins.
Christians and the conservative right brushed the story off. "Penguins are animals," they said. Animals do all sorts of things people would never do. That's what separates us from the animals.
Then along comes the summer surprise hit - March of the Penguins. The documentary tells the tale of the emperor penguin and how the male and female battle the harsh Antarctic winter for months on end to raise their little penguin. Christians latched onto the story as being symbolic of the importance of monogamous relationships and the need for a devoted mother and father in raising children. If we all were more like the emperor penguin, God would smile upon us and we would be blessed as individuals and as a nation.
While the Christians were busy praising the emperor penguin as being good role models for people to learn the God-inspired lesson of monogamy, faithfulness, and parental devotion to the children, something quite extraordinary transpired in Roy and Silo's household.
First, their daughter, Tango, grew up and paired off with another female penguin. Then Silo's eye began wandering after the pair were kicked out of their nesting area by more aggressive penguins. This past mating season, he caught glimpse of a female penguin from California named Scrappy. Silo left Roy for Scrappy and Roy has been left standing in the corner, alone and staring at the wall.
The Christian Right are beside themselves with joy. On the Focus on the Family website - a gay hate group founded by the influential radio host James C. Dobson - a commentator, Warren Throckmorten, wrote: "For those who have pointed to Roy and Silo as models for us all, these developments must be disappointing. Some gay activists might actually be angry."
Not exactly, though.
As Roberta Sklar, a spokeswoman for the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, put it: "There's almost an obsession with questions such as, 'Is sexual orientation a birthright or a choice?' And looking at the behavior of two penguins in captivity is not a way to answer that question."
Of course, that doesn't stop the Christians from pointing the accusatory finger. Silo and Roy went through a phase and in the process of going against nature, hurt a child by turning their daughter into a lesbian. If that isn't proof enough that homosexuality is unnatural and that homosexuals make bad parents, then the Great Social Experiment of allowing gay marriages and gay parents will surely bring the wrath of God upon us.
At least the penguins are dressed in formal attire for the Coming of the Lord's Wrath.
Oh, and in case you've read this far and are a little concerned: just because penguins waddle around all prim and proper in their tuxedos, that doesn't make them sophisticated Messengers of God trying to teach us moral behaviors.
They are living their life the way God created them to live it. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Be sure to visit Little Guy Protest and submit your bill to Congress asking them to repeal the Defense of Marriage act and reaffirm states' rights by honoring, without prejudice, individual state marriage laws.
Normally, this would be a story zoo keepers would joke and laugh about over a few beers at Happy Hour.
Not quite.
Somewhere along the way, the Happy Hour story made headlines. Gay activists proudly pointed to the pair as proof that homosexuality is a natural state, not a perverted choice as some would like us to believe. International protests broke out when zoo keepers tried to convert Roy and Silo using their own version of an ex-gay ministry - by separating them and introducing female penguins.
Christians and the conservative right brushed the story off. "Penguins are animals," they said. Animals do all sorts of things people would never do. That's what separates us from the animals.
Then along comes the summer surprise hit - March of the Penguins. The documentary tells the tale of the emperor penguin and how the male and female battle the harsh Antarctic winter for months on end to raise their little penguin. Christians latched onto the story as being symbolic of the importance of monogamous relationships and the need for a devoted mother and father in raising children. If we all were more like the emperor penguin, God would smile upon us and we would be blessed as individuals and as a nation.
While the Christians were busy praising the emperor penguin as being good role models for people to learn the God-inspired lesson of monogamy, faithfulness, and parental devotion to the children, something quite extraordinary transpired in Roy and Silo's household.
First, their daughter, Tango, grew up and paired off with another female penguin. Then Silo's eye began wandering after the pair were kicked out of their nesting area by more aggressive penguins. This past mating season, he caught glimpse of a female penguin from California named Scrappy. Silo left Roy for Scrappy and Roy has been left standing in the corner, alone and staring at the wall.
The Christian Right are beside themselves with joy. On the Focus on the Family website - a gay hate group founded by the influential radio host James C. Dobson - a commentator, Warren Throckmorten, wrote: "For those who have pointed to Roy and Silo as models for us all, these developments must be disappointing. Some gay activists might actually be angry."
Not exactly, though.
As Roberta Sklar, a spokeswoman for the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, put it: "There's almost an obsession with questions such as, 'Is sexual orientation a birthright or a choice?' And looking at the behavior of two penguins in captivity is not a way to answer that question."
Of course, that doesn't stop the Christians from pointing the accusatory finger. Silo and Roy went through a phase and in the process of going against nature, hurt a child by turning their daughter into a lesbian. If that isn't proof enough that homosexuality is unnatural and that homosexuals make bad parents, then the Great Social Experiment of allowing gay marriages and gay parents will surely bring the wrath of God upon us.
At least the penguins are dressed in formal attire for the Coming of the Lord's Wrath.
Oh, and in case you've read this far and are a little concerned: just because penguins waddle around all prim and proper in their tuxedos, that doesn't make them sophisticated Messengers of God trying to teach us moral behaviors.
They are living their life the way God created them to live it. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Be sure to visit Little Guy Protest and submit your bill to Congress asking them to repeal the Defense of Marriage act and reaffirm states' rights by honoring, without prejudice, individual state marriage laws.
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
We Want You!
And I Can Help You Become A Member Of This Exclusive Club!
Let's face it, there's nothing to being a heterosexual. You see one heterosexual, you've seen them all. But to be gay...now that's something special. The club is so exclusive, only 1-3% of the population earns the honor. Even by liberal estimates, only 10% of the population qualifies for membership.
Do You Want To Join The Ranks Of This Exclusive Club?
It's not as easy as it looks to become a member. People are born heterosexual. They're taught from infancy through adulthood what it means to be heterosexual. Date. Kiss. Marry. Have children. Being gay takes a special kind of person, though. First, you have to make a commitmant to be different. Once you make that commitmant, you have to fight the natural heterosexual urges. If you don't, your membership is immediately revoked. Once you've made the commitmant and mastered your natural desires, the real challenge begins. You have to fight the heterosexuals' ignorance, prejudice, bigotry, and, yes, hatred. Remember, you're in an exclusive club and the people who can't make it show their jealousy with a vengeance. They'll be determined to make you fail...make you lose your membership.
I Can Teach You Everything You Need To Know!
From the first step of making the commitmant to mastering your natural urges to step-by-step instructions on how to act gay. Do you really think Jack of Will and Grace fame was born that way? Nah. It took years of practice to perfect every nuance of being gay. As an introductory offer, I can send you your first lesson for $19.95 plus shipping and handling. Subsequent courses can be yours for the low, low price of $49.95!
My clients normally pay $119.95 per lesson. I've taught Jack. Boy George. Elton John. With just one lesson, I taught Eric McCormack to play the part convincingly enough to land the role opposite of Jack.
But you can have the first course at 85% off the regular price! That's a hundred dollar savings!
Hear What Our Satisfied Customers Have To Say:
Learning to become gay changed my life! And it wasn't all that hard. For the first time in my life, I can wear jeans and a tee shirt, cut my hair to near crew cut, and ride my Harley with pride. Best of all, guys don't throw their one-liners at me anymore. I can walk into a bar and kick any guy's ass there! -Molly, NY
With this course I have the confidence to cry at the movies! Let me tell you, honey, I used to avoid the movies out of fear of showing those tears. Not anymore! Oh, and I absolutely adore Judy Garland, Streisand, Boy George, Bette Midler, and all those gorgeous divas. I blast them on my car stereo and people stop and stare at me. I never got that kind of attention as a hetero!
-Mike, FL
So What Do You Get For $19.95?
Your first lesson will teach you how to make the commitmant to be gay and stick to it. Through motivational tapes and videos of famous homosexuals, you'll come to believe gay is the way. I'll also teach you how to supress your natural urges to be heterosexual and, most importantly, how not to slip back into the straight life. You'll also have access to our online support group and chat room. And for the first month's lesson, I'll throw in a personal coach...
for free! He/she will always be one phone call away if you ever feel like slipping into the murkiness of heterosexuality.
Money Back Guarantee!
If for any reason you are not satisfied with my course or just decide you
don't have what it takes to be a member of this exclusive club, just return
the course material and your money will be refunded...no questions
asked. We fully understand not everyone has what it takes to be gay,
but we don't make fun of you for it.
don't have what it takes to be a member of this exclusive club, just return
the course material and your money will be refunded...no questions
asked. We fully understand not everyone has what it takes to be gay,
but we don't make fun of you for it.
What Can I Expect In Future Courses?
If you pass the first course, we'll step you through all that it takes to be
gay. We'll teach you how to walk and talk. We'll teach you the gay
slang. By course three, we'll start tuning your gaydar. We'll teach you
to appreciate real music like Streisand, Cher, and Celine. By course eight,
you'll have every show and broadway tune memorized. By course
twelve, we'll have your gaydar fine-tuned and dressing will be second
nature. You can choose from the butch look to flashy dresses to leather.
We'll teach you it all.
You Must Act Now!
The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF) issues a limited number of membership cards per year. As a result, we can only offer this course to the first handful of applicants. Don't be left out! I'm so confidant you'll love this course that I'm going to make you an unbelievable offer. The last course teaches you all you need to know about the gay agenda. Before the NGLTF issues you a membership card, you must pass the National Gay Agenda Entrance Exam. The NGLTF charges $499.95 for applicants to take this test. If you do not pass this exam to be accepted as a homosexual, I'll cover the cost of the exam!
So act now while seats are still available!
Sincerely,
Mark Darien
President, National Organization of Homos Expressing Transformation of Resistant Oppressors of Society (NO HETROS)
ps
Order your first course by Mar 31st and I'll send you a 8ft x 6ft all-weather, rainbow flag absolutely free. What better way to make the commitmant than flying the rainbow colors proudly in your front yard?
© 2004
Mark Darien
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
King Tut and the Gay Agenda
Talk radio is abuzz. Internet chat rooms are in a tizzy. The conservative and Christian right stir the pot into a seething foment. After being pronounced dead and mummified over three thousand years ago, King Tut has come to life and he has a lot of people hopping mad.
"You don't believe gays are everywhere pushing their agenda?" asked Pat Robertson. "Explain how three independant teams of researchers, through MRI scanning of a mummy, came to the conclusion that King Tut was gay? MRIs of old bones can't show makeup and eye shadow, you know. It's the gays' queerification of America at play here."
Many conservative religious leaders echoed the sentiments after a picture of what researchers think King Tut looked like was released. King Tut is pictured as a small framed (5'6") boy of nineteen with a boyish, almost feminine face, pronounced overbite, weak chin, and sloping, elongated skull. His smooth, hairless skin appeared to have makeup on and his eyes appeared to sport a dab of eye shadow.
While everyone had something to say and theories to offer, the prevalent belief to emerge is that revisionist historians are portraying well known, historic figures as homosexuals. The theory goes that the more famous people who are viewed as gay, the more tolerant people will become of them. Eventually, that tolerance of gays will give way to acceptance and acceptance will give way to liking homosexuals.
"They [homosexuals] are well on their way to making people like them and before long they'll be in our schools recruiting new members. They can't procreate so they recruit," said Jerry Falwell. "We must put an end to this nonsense before we find a homosexual behind every decent American."
When a reporter asked President Bush about the King Tut controversy, he simply stated, "To each his own. It's not for me to judge. But if he tries to come to this country, first, he won't be king. There's no room for another king in this country. And second, I hope he doesn't come here hoping to get married. We just don't do that."
When the reporter started to explain that King Tut can't come to this country because he's been dead for over three thousand years, President Bush abruptly cut him off before the reporter could explain. "Look. I don't understand homosexuality, but if our immigration laws are stopping him from coming here because of it, then he can always enter the country through Mexico like everyone else."
Gay rights advocates are enraged at the controversy. "You can't look at someone and say 'They're gay.' It doesn't work that way," commented a spokesman for the National Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transsexual, and Transgendered Alliance, a national gay rights group. "Stereotypes might help make sense of the world for some people, but it won't help them understand it correctly."
When pressed further on the issue, he added, "He was a king. Don't these religious and conservative nuts know that if he were gay, he'd have been queen?"
The storm over King Tut rages on....
This is satire and purely fictional
Support the basic civil right of same-sex couples being allowed to marry? Learn how to write your own bill and submit it to Congress for their consideration.
"You don't believe gays are everywhere pushing their agenda?" asked Pat Robertson. "Explain how three independant teams of researchers, through MRI scanning of a mummy, came to the conclusion that King Tut was gay? MRIs of old bones can't show makeup and eye shadow, you know. It's the gays' queerification of America at play here."
Many conservative religious leaders echoed the sentiments after a picture of what researchers think King Tut looked like was released. King Tut is pictured as a small framed (5'6") boy of nineteen with a boyish, almost feminine face, pronounced overbite, weak chin, and sloping, elongated skull. His smooth, hairless skin appeared to have makeup on and his eyes appeared to sport a dab of eye shadow.
While everyone had something to say and theories to offer, the prevalent belief to emerge is that revisionist historians are portraying well known, historic figures as homosexuals. The theory goes that the more famous people who are viewed as gay, the more tolerant people will become of them. Eventually, that tolerance of gays will give way to acceptance and acceptance will give way to liking homosexuals.
"They [homosexuals] are well on their way to making people like them and before long they'll be in our schools recruiting new members. They can't procreate so they recruit," said Jerry Falwell. "We must put an end to this nonsense before we find a homosexual behind every decent American."
When a reporter asked President Bush about the King Tut controversy, he simply stated, "To each his own. It's not for me to judge. But if he tries to come to this country, first, he won't be king. There's no room for another king in this country. And second, I hope he doesn't come here hoping to get married. We just don't do that."
When the reporter started to explain that King Tut can't come to this country because he's been dead for over three thousand years, President Bush abruptly cut him off before the reporter could explain. "Look. I don't understand homosexuality, but if our immigration laws are stopping him from coming here because of it, then he can always enter the country through Mexico like everyone else."
Gay rights advocates are enraged at the controversy. "You can't look at someone and say 'They're gay.' It doesn't work that way," commented a spokesman for the National Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transsexual, and Transgendered Alliance, a national gay rights group. "Stereotypes might help make sense of the world for some people, but it won't help them understand it correctly."
When pressed further on the issue, he added, "He was a king. Don't these religious and conservative nuts know that if he were gay, he'd have been queen?"
The storm over King Tut rages on....
This is satire and purely fictional
Support the basic civil right of same-sex couples being allowed to marry? Learn how to write your own bill and submit it to Congress for their consideration.
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