Friday, December 22, 2006

It's as bad as the War in Iraq

I'm talking about the War on Christmas. You know, that war where the rallying cry is "They're trying to take Christ out of Christmas!" Under the leadership of the ACLU, nativity scenes are being shoved in the closet and the big stores like Walmart and Target instruct their employees to say "Happy Holidays", but are never, ever to utter the word, "Christmas".

The atheists and secularists are losing and losing shamefully. Despite the well-organized, all-out effort to remove Christ from Christmas, those pesky Christians, like terrorists, pop up everywhere to drop the "Merry Christmas" bomb.

"How", you might ask, "do you know the War on Christmas is being lost?"

Let's take my typical day, today, as an example.

I stopped in an Exxon station for my donut like I do every morning. As I left, I said to the clerk, "You have a Merry Christmas."

He responded, "Thank you and you have a Merry Christmas, too."

As I walked out the door, it dawned on me that his name is Wasim and he is obviously of Mideastern decent, which means there's a good chance he isn't Christian. Considering the nature and spirit of the exchange, though, I don't think Wasim lives in fear that Exxon may fire him.

I could be wrong. If he's not around next week, maybe Exxon did fire him. Not only did he dare to speak the word, Christmas, but if he's not Christian then that means he turned on his own kind. I shudder to think what might happen to him. In addition to being fired, he might be brought to trial on charges of being a traitor and have to face the death penalty.

I thought no more of the innocent exchange until I got to work. There's about 800 employees and the CEO of the company is Jewish. Surely the War on Christmas must be experiencing victory on this battlefield.

Nope. Those pesky Christians infiltrated the company and, gasp, dared to decorate their cubes with not only secularist decorations but also Christian symbols - an angel here, the word Christmas there, and the Star of Bethlehem shining over it all. Sure, the Christian symbolism is subdued, but most certainly there.

Oh, and I lost count how many employees wished me a "Merry Christmas". That word is spoken freely and without penalty on this battlefield.

I went out to the parking garage to smoke a cigarette.

Hmmm, now there is a war being won - the War on Smokers.

But back on topic.

Like a common criminal, I went to smoke my cig in hiding. I struck up a conversation with another guy, Marc, like I do every day. "So Marc, do you know where I can get a good deal on a Christmas tree, one that I can plant after the holidays?"

"Hell if I know. I'm Jewish."

"Oh. Well, Happy Hannukah, I guess."

"I don't celebrate Hannukah, but thank you. And Merry Christmas to you."

"Thank you, but I really don't celebrate Christmas. It costs too much."

We both got a good laugh, finished our cigarettes, and went back to work. Neither one of us lost our jobs, had a scolding from our supervisors, or ended up in front of our human resources rep.

I have a feeling that my experience today is typical of almost everyone's day. The War on Christmas is being fought all around us, but no one seems to notice - or care.

That's probably because there is no War on Christmas. Most people run around wondering if they can get off work early and if they can beat the crowds at the stores to finish their last minute Christmas shopping. They're making a list of last minute gifts they need to pick up and wondering if someone will be giving them the gifts they really want. Christmas morning, on the way to Church, they'll think about Jesus, but all the time building up to that genuine moment of Christmas celebration, the Christian aspect of the holiday is AWOL in most peoples' minds.

Of course, there are exceptions. There are people who live and breath Jesus. They're the ones who see the War on Christmas and they are the soldiers fighting the War. Hey, all the power to them. I wish them the best, and a Merry Christmas.

And I'm sure their daughter, Carrie, will be a big hit at her senior prom some day.

For the rest of us, another Christmas will soon be upon us and gone. Then we can shed all our compassion and goodwill to men and pick on the smokers, again. That war hasn't been won - yet.

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